On that day I wore my favorite purple underwear
for the sole purpose of knowing I was wearing them.
And underneath that?
I was naked.
The only barrier was that thin cotton
And under I’ve got skin.
Miles and miles of skin
I’ve got skin to cover all my secrets like plastic
that you can see through to what leftovers are inside from the time before.
And despite what you thought,
my skin is not rough, nor is it bullet proof.
My skin is soft smooth easily scarred.
But that didn’t matter
You didn’t care about how soft my skin was
You just use your hands and fingers
You just want to tear into me
with your fingers
And mouth and teeth
Prying me open
Relentless. Pushing. Violating.
Lifting my chin (please save me)
So I can see lightning through the clouds?
What if all I crave is to swing high as a bird for a taste of fresher air?
What if all I reach for is a notebook to write in, not a hand to hold?
But that’s not the story you want.
You are licking your lips and baring your teeth.
Gleam in your eyes. Possession.
Just once I would like to go in the direction everyone else is
I don’t want to be the water in the well.
I don’t want to be the well.
I’d like to not be the ground anymore
I’d like not to be the thing people dig their hands in
Something they can own
One thought on “Poem”
We did not grow up like others and will never be happy go lucky
We developed special
Skills to survive our abuse
When we heal these
Skills are available
I had to learn then accept I am different than normal kids people
That can be alright and we can be happy
You can be free
Expectations and suffering
It is not easy but you can too