My first post

So here is my first post. I’ve thought for a long time about starting a blog and always hesitated. Why? Because as most of you will be able to understand, staying quiet and keeping secrets is at the heart of abuse. Yes, I am a victim or survivor of long term sexual, emotional, and psychological abuse. I wanted to take a minute to introduce myself and tell a little about what I hope to do with this blog.

I am a wife and mother of 3 kids. I did ok with my life, had a career and had never needed psychiatric care until 2 years ago when repressed memories of abuse surfaced. Since that time I have struggled to be a good mom, wife, and work. My symptoms come and go but mostly stay. I have a therapist and take a boatload of meds to function.

With this site I hope to share stories of what I went through as a child so you don’t feel alone and discuss the issues I think most people with PTSD/cPTSD struggle with which is having a good relationship, being a good parent, connecting to others, and manage symptoms. I hope to put up resources that you can use as needed. I hope you find this blog helpful and informative. I am new to this and will most definitely make mistakes. I appreciate feedback but please remember I suffer from a serious mental illness and be kind.

Please be aware that there may be some content that may be triggering so read cautiously. We’re all in a different place in recovery and healing so be kind to yourself. We’re all in this together.

 

One thought on “My first post

  1. Thankyou for sharing, all of this, I am an adult survivor of many types of abuse, & multiple abuses, relating to much of what you said, I was given a psych diagnosis by perjury from a few of my abusers, so noone wants to help me, I kept all of the abuse secret thru all of the years, thinking my main role was to be patient with them to change, to always protect them, be loyal, keep it a secret,
    always wanted them to go back to being how they were before, love & abuse kept changing back & forth, dont even know to this day how they truely feel, it haunts me every day, which is real, which is right, why didnt I do anything nor realize I had any power, there was power, where was there power, now I am having intermitent neuro problems from it, in addition to all of the symptoms you have described, if ppl really knew all I have been thru they would help, but now I want to tell because I am such a mess, lost everything I ever dreamed of, loss everything I ever owned twice over, & lost many years, but now no professional will help me with complex ptsd because of the psych diagnosis ( a false diagnosis from perjury )- if you have found help, it gives me hope that I could find help, You are right it is a “life sentence” & an unjust 1 at that, but when we truely forgive all: us, God, perpetrators, unlistening, & unkind 1’s, all, & give “It all” to God, asking Him to heal us & gives us a brand new start & a cleansing healing of all scars & injuries, once it has processed, newness of life & complete freedom emerges from within, & life once so complex becomes easy & simple, yea, I long for those days when God could heal me, but now my perpetrators have prospered over me many times, building for me psych records that can never be erased blocking the road to all my healing ( what my abuser(s) did specifically was engage mental health to diagnose me with imagining that they abused me, which fullfilled their threat that if I ever got some help & brought exposure to what they did, that this would be my punishment ) & now it is, an age old diary of so many & such severe abuses that only God could have carried me thru & I experienced them so ooo alone while walking in such a normal fascade to those around me, sadly, now, I am a ward of the state for being perpetrated too many times, & before I could realize what was happening or get any help or even figure out what to do, the abusers beat me to it with a fabricated story about my mental health, they have contined to ” walk ” & to prosper in their lives while I am worse off than I was 40+ years ago, & my continous cry for help is just brushed off, I admire your courage & strength, your frankness & your honesty, thankyou for being so transparant & thorough, now your freedom of “telling the truth” is celebrated & there is grace & healing, pray that I can get to the same place & that the doors of trauma therapy are open to me.
    Best, Donna

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